The Dressage Ring

this is more an update list than a post-post, but it's time to let people know i'm still alive.  i think.  *checks pulse* yup, still alive.

so here we go:

*in Feb, at my routine dr's appointment, i was dx'd hypothyroid - the gland isn't making enough hormone.  the good thing about this is that now i understand why i was so *completely and utterly* dragged out at the end of last year.  also, now that i'm on synthroid, my body isn't fighting losing weight, and 4 mos later, my chemical soup seems to be just about completely in balance.  the bad news is... i'm not going to be 'cured' from this - taking pills forever.  don't get me wrong, there are FAR worse things in the world, but my health goal has always been to minimize the pills i'm on... this is one step away from that.  It does make me very thankful for modern medicine, though.

*2 weeks after my dr's appt, Gulf Wars happened  - it's a pretty amazing event when you're not too sick or too glazed over too appreciate it.  Otoh, I forgot that last year, the things in my 'Accessories' box had gotten quite damp.  I took a few things with me, but decided to clean the rest later... which happened only a couple-3 weeks ago.  I lost a couple things to mold - just couldn't kill it, or in the case the belly dance scarf, the jingles were just too rusted to save - but I did save the majority of the items.  Since I am trying to streamline my SCA closet, a number of things are going to wind up getting donated, but I'm not entirely sure when.

*more recently, i sewed slipcovers for the couch cushions.  this is because in less that 2 years, my dog pretty much shredded the original fabric.  Cotton duck is much more resistant to Great Dane claws that the original what-ever-it-is.  I'm thinking of going back and sewing slipcovers for the back-cushions, too, so the entire couch is a bright cheerful yellow.  it'll match the curtains that way.

*speaking of the great goofus - she gained 10lbs in the past few months.  Oops... guess I was a little too enthusiastic about giving her treats.  Abbie and I are both on a diet now.

*my diet consists of continuing good food choices, and counting calories and recording non-caffeinated intake.  the last two are mostly to keep me honest.  My progress this week supports my theory that I'm 95% there, but I needed one last puzzle piece to make it stick... apparently, that's keeping myself accountable. 

Abbie's diet consists of limiting her to 1 or 2 treats a day. 

*Abbie got a new blankie today - it's Wonder Woman.  I thought about giving her Darth Vader to chew on, but then I decided I'd rather she ingested the power of a strong woman than the Dark Side of the Force.  She won't miss the cookies.  I promise. *hides cookies from Abbie.*

*today, i'm going to start organizing the personal papers in the office.  This should cut down on even more clutter, though right now it's mostly clutter limited to the closet.

*I paid off my truck on Thursday!  next up: the CC.

*I am 3/4 done of the dual embroidery piece: 'this is your flame... this is your flame on O2'.  I will find a way to get and post pictures, because while I love Mary Corbett's needlework site, and the piece would not have happened without the blogs very encouraging tone, I'd like to show her what happens when you let a nerd work stumpwork, lol.

That's all from chez boogie *brushes off dog-hair* you may now go about your business...

-boogieshoes

I'm finally getting around to doing this post, which is one of only 2 posts I try to make certain I do.  The other post is, of course, the yearly round-up.  So it's with mild guilt that I realize I've not posted this until nearly Feb.


( Deck the halls of the house with folly... )

( Mary Mary quite contrary... )

( Yarding by the Garden.... )

( Middle Ages Mash-ups )

( Stitchy Woman... )

( I swear I will be fan-active! .... someday )

( bills bills bills )

Personal ADMIN:
  1) Organize household items, including
       a) disaster kit
  2) Transfer data from old laptops to PC, when i get it.
  3) Make the database for my library
  4) File rest of bills from 2012 – and now, also 2013!... and now 2014...2015...
  5) Convert VHS and audio tapes to updated platforms. (Contingent on buying platform converters)
  6) Make a list of cyclical maintenance duties and times due.
9) pay good chunk of personal CC

( to my health! )

( Furniture Fair (-y Tale) )

( Wishlist )

-boogie

i just wanted to post that i'm feeling much better today.  still a little emotionally wobbly, but not the panicky hopelessness of yesterday.  i think posting about it on lj really helped, and not just because i got friends here. :)

one of the defining characteristics of depression is a tendency to keep it inside... and it is true that sharing can really help.

( possibly triggering material here (but no cuss words) )

and that's why i love my medication, and don't ever want to go off it, and why this hit me so hard.  i *love* to live.  i *want* to live.

i'm going to stop now - the 'emotionally wobbly' bit of today is telling me i'm going to start crying if i keep dwelling on it, and as i said, i'm really feeling much better.  and i'm going to try to keep the momentum going and gain a little height...

-boogieshoes

I think i can get 5 things into here...

  1) I've been watching Game of Thrones lately, and I do have to say it's beautifully done, and( GoT babble )

2) so... i've been working on a commission embroidery piece for a friend.  Pictures here: http://boogieshoes.livejournal.com/pics/catalog/7088 I *loved* working on this piece.  I couldn't put it down.  80 hours and a lot of new-to-me stitches later, i had a finished piece that i really liked the effect of.  I especially liked the bird wings - i did those with buttonhole bars.  most people seem to like the sheep, which is something like 400 french knots.  I also like mr. scott's hair, which is a blended needle, done in bullion knots.  *really* effective.  and you can see *vast* improvement in my split stitch from left (mr scott) to right (noble lord guy).  lot of fun, looking to do more of this in the future.

3)i've also been watching outlander.  i'm sort of miffed that they sold 'season 1 volume 1' and now i need volume 2 to finish the season... because, of course, Jaime and Claire are in a sticky situation at the last ep in volume 1.  This is a series i recommend watching.  Another cable channel series, another series based on books.  the cast and crew are *fantastic*, research for costuming is bloody amazing.  there's a lot of political stuff going on in there, and it helps to have at least a small foundation of history between England and Scotland, but it's not necessary.  beautiful, beautiful scenery of Scotland.

and that's my drama lately.

-boogie

i haven't posted for a while.  i think i need to re-dl semagic, because i can't find it.  but anyway,  the real thing is, i've been kind of exhausted for the past week or so, and i'm not sure why.  probably a little burn out at work, coupled with roommate being dramatic at home, coupled with ennervating heat.  maybe coupled with a concerted effort to stick more closely to the LCHF diet than i've done up to this point.  i'm not sure.  the point is, i'm tired, and it's really easy to get depressed when i'm tired.

or rather i should say, it's really easy to let the depression get the best of me when i'm tired.  and it makes me sigh.  and wonder if i'm really worth anything to anybody, etc etc, insert cliches that became cliches because they're so very true here.  i hate depression because whenever i'm tired, i don't just 'get tired', it's like the 'negative messages' tape gets turned on full blast.  it's always there, but usually in the background.  then i get tired for whatever reason, and suddenly, the messages are loud, and even if part of me thinks it's stupid, the other part is pretty sure those bad tapes... are correct.  i hate that.  i hate that i can't seem to root out and pitch the tape.  and i hate that it's so ready to ambush me at the worst times.

and i hate that sometimes going on vacation is a source of anxiety - will anyone talk to me?  will they even notice me?  of course they do, but still...  it's so much harder to *go* on vacation than *be* on vacation, because my brain insists on worrying that nobody cares and i'll be ignored, especially when i'm feeling the very human need to connect to people.

and this is getting more whiney than i was going to be, sigh, which i also hate - that i sound whiney even to myself when i complain about depression.

it's just... i'm tired, and need a break.  (from the depression - i'm not in a place where i need help.  i am in a place where i'm frustrated with my own issues, and projecting myself into the Escorts AU is even more frustrating, because as a client, it'd be like 'dude, i just want to go hang out with someone, and is it not the saddest thing i have to *hire* a friend to do that?!'  and sadly, or perhaps just fucked-up-ed-ly, i want more Escorts stories because i love them.  even though they tend to hit my 'i'm completely pathetic button' along with a lot of my kink buttons.  i'm so weird.)

-boogieshoes

Sorry I'm a bit late on this; had the kind of week last week I'd've rather have left behind. At any rate, link to the poll about whether or not interruptions were rude.

Now, I'm going to explain the context. As I'd said in the previous post, the context of the poll was supposed to be a casual conversation, and at no time did any kind of emergency happen.

( the conversation that did happen... )

-boogieshoes

i've been having major drama with my computer lately, culminating with an emergency buy this weekend. follow along the story now:


so the guest room is being done in 'bad victoriana impression of ancient egyptian' (because an accurate rendering of ancient egyptian furniture, even for the pharoah, would make guests run, instead of be delighted...), and the stencil being used to put grout lines on the wall got, well, gummy, as repeat stencils tend to do. and i decided to clean it with acetone.

this was my first mistake, because i had the acetone sitting higher than my toshiba laptop, and i was tired, and knocked the bottle over, and it splashed on the toshiba. i let it dry, but the keyboard was fried. so i went and bought a cheapy plug-in mouse and keyboard. then i started having problems with weird input bugs, and i thought it might be the old keyboard reading stuff even though i was using the plug-in. i researched at work, dl'd instructions to take out the on-board keyboard, had second thoughts, and bought a wireless keyboard and mouse. the wireless combo worked for a while, especially after i updated the java script that runs things.

then the input bug came back. and i got frustrated friday night, and decided to finally take the inboard keyboard out... mistake #2.

i killed the toshiba. so Saturday morning i went to the local target, and bought new laptop. and an external hard-drive. then i went to the computer repair shop and asked if i could get a data transfer, and a downgrade to windows 7.

the data transfer was relatively successful. they didn't manage to get some of the programs across - like pidgin, the chat client, adobe reader, openoffice - but they got most of the files across, and did get mozilla firefox and thunderbird across. they got my old email file (yay!), but unfortunately, they didn't get my old bookmark file across. which sucks.

so monday (one of those short saturday/ closed sunday places), i picked up the laptop and brought it home and began to remove the crap windows insists on putting on their new boxes. i'd managed to put pidgin back on the new lappy, and gotten to the chatrooms - always the hardest part of a new machine for me - so i could have help if i needed it.

until i deleted the 'bluetooth thing'. yes, mistake number 3. see, i think bluetooth, and think the schizophrenic phone or smartphone type things. i don't think WLAN drivers... guess what this was? back to the computer store, sigh. and out more $$ to get them to undo my stupidity.

needless to say, i'm no longer going to be fixing my own computer. the local repair shop are nice people and don't make fun of me. at least while i'm in the store, hah.

anyway, i need to rebuild my bookmark file, so i'm taking favorite links in the comments for fanfic, writing tips, neat places to shop... etc.

-boogieshoes, the extremely frustrated

Good-bye, Robin, I’ll miss you.

Mr. Williams’s death reminds me of the Great UnDone Project I’m always putting off, which I really shouldn’t. See, I have this project to thank every actor, actress, writer, and singer which I have read/ watched/ listened to and been heavily influenced by for their work.

Robin doesn’t come close to topping the list.

That honor belongs to Richard Dean Anderson, in his character of MacGyver. One of the challenges of being a military brat is that the military parent is often away. You can go days without seeing him or her – but it’s more common to go months or years without seeing them, contact being only through letters, phone calls, and audio/ visual tapes. In a lot of ways, MacGyver was my male parent figure through my formative years. The character taught me it was ok to be a geek, it was ok to love books, math, and science, and that science was cool. He made me want to be a hero and led me to believe that a background in science and technology was the best path to that. That inspiration is in large part responsible for where I am today, and I’ve never regretted it. I still want to be MacGyver when I grow up, and I still use the character to model a lot of my behavior and philosophies: Honor and honesty, kindness and the joys of creation, respect everyone and protect those in need, including the Earth and Her Bounties, while reaching for the stars and never quitting. And of course, fish for fishing – which is to say, have a hobby you do just to do it. Mine happens to be cross-stitching/ embroidery.

Robin’s not the last on the list, either. I’m not sure exactly where he is, but his performances in Dead Poets Society, The Bird Cage, and Good Morning, Vietnam have also had a large influence on me. His death reminds me I have been remiss in sending my thank you cards to my favorite entertainers.

I missed Anne McCaffrey, and now Robin Williams. We always think we have more time for things like this. We don’t, really, and I’m sad not just for Robin and his family, but also myself, for this lost opportunity.

So Good-bye, Robin – I hope you are finally at piece, and know just how much you meant to us all.

-boogieshoes, sad

So it’s mostly good news at Chez Boogs. Abbie and I had our vet appointments recently, and health ratings are up.

Abs gained 15 lbs, I lost 2 lbs from the last visit, for a total of 10 lbs weight loss – slow and steady wins the race. I also realized I lost two pants sizes, from size 24 (US) to 20 (also US). First time I’ve enjoyed shopping in a long time.

I have a heart rate of 78 BPM; Abbie’s is ‘hey, wait, I’m not finished taking your pulse yet!’.

My Blood Pressure is 123/81, Abbie’s is ‘yeah, whatever.’ (It’s so hard being a dog).

And I don’t have heart worms, and am up on my rabies, shots, and Abbie’s had her flu shots, so that’s all good, too.

I’ve been trying to focus on sticking a little better to my low-carb high-fat diet, and I can see and feel a difference.

( tmi part )

( house goes and woes )

( the garden giveth... surprisingly well! )

-bs, free and easy on the road I go