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[personal profile] boogieshoes
so, i went to the gym today for the first time in months.

the stats are:  reclined bike for about 6min, 30 s
0.5 mile at level 9,
0.5 mile at level 10

the level number increases with resistance.

some of you may remember my recently-posted year in review post.  in it, i noted that my weight loss statistics were rather disappointing compared to my goals.  because of that, i'm reprioritizing working out to the top of my priority list.  this is in liueu of 'other thing i could be doing with my time' like fanfic reading, or stitching, or well, anything that's more 'interesting'.  basically, it's my health, and it's more important.  there-in lies the trap, because i have a tough time believing that i'm important enough to take care of.  that's a purely psychological issue, and i'm not sure if it's residual childhood baggage or fairly par for the course with clinical depression (which i am dx'd with).  in the end, it doesn't matter, as it is having a negative impact on my health in a practical, physical fashion, by limiting my urge to do anything that can be read as 'taking care of myself beyond presentability'.  so i need to deal with it, and to remind myself constantly that i'm worth taking care of and caring for.  yeah, it sounds like the highest amount of hokieness, even to me, but it's real, and so i gotta take that bull by the horns and mix my metaphors ride it.

wish me luck - the 'old tapes' issue is usually the hardest issue to overcome in these sorts of things.

-bs

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