write or left?
Nov. 14th, 2006 06:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
boogieshoes
so while i was being completely useless at work today, i wrote this little snippet:
The Time Before
“Can I speak to you?” Connor, the dark-haired mercenary leader, was standing in a shadowy corner. No, not just a corner – there was a door hidden so well there that even a close look wouldn’t find it. Jack only saw it by the light that came through the edges where Connor was holding it open. O’Niell glanced around the empty corridor, then motioned Sam, Daniel, and Teal’c to follow Connor into the quiet room beyond.
“All right, what’s going on?”
“Do you understand what happened last night?”
“Brigitte has taken responsibility for our safety, obviously,” said Daniel, “but no, I didn’t catch everything.”
“Not just your safety. Honor, reputation, these are qualities we value in this culture above all else. By claiming you as her guests, Brigitte must stand as your champion against all comers.”
“So, if someone insults us, she has to fight to regain our honor?” Sam asked.
“If you take offense, yes, or she takes offense on your behalf. That’s more likely.” Connor paused. “But, Brigitte is not a warrior.”
“I thought you said all the fighters were Brahmin?”
“They are. But the Brahmin caste includes not only warriors, but the Druids – priest and judges who hold our knowledge, and render judgement on whether our laws have been broken. Brigitte is a priest, although by rights and inclination, she should have been a judge.”
“So if she gets into a fight, she’s not going to have a chance.” Jack sighed. “So we just won’t take offense at anything.”
“It’s not that simple. If someone accuses you of something, and the evidence is circumstantial, either party may ask for a trial by arms. She will be honor-bound to offer herself as champion. By refusing her offer, you are basically saying you do not believe her to have any honor.”
“You mean it’s like saying we think she had a hand in setting us up?”
“Yes.”
“So we may not be able to do anything to prevent her from getting killed over something we think is incredibly stupid.”
“And Moreg doesn’t like her,” Sam said. “Does she not like Brigitte enough to frame us for murder?”
“It’s not a matter of like or dislike – Moreg is a professional. I wouldn’t have hired her otherwise.”
“But…?” Jack asked.
“Not so long ago, people like Brigitte were often… discarded.”
“Discarded? You mean killed. Why, for being smart?”
“They were seen to have a weakness of spirit. We are a warrior society, and value strength and skill in battle; weakness of spirit is not to be permitted. It’s only been recently – in the past 100 years or so – that the practice has been banned. But our… socialization… still celebrates a warrior’s skills over the academic. Brigitte is not a warrior, and Moreg believes she has not earned lieutenant status since it was not obtained in battle, or the warrior’s ring.”
“Moreg is trying to jockey for lieutenancy?”
Connor shook his head. “For more than that. The Fiannen-Ri chooses his mates from among his lieutenants. The mates comprise the inner circle of advisors the Fiannen-Ri has; they choose who to contract with, who to hire and fire, and who to promote. It’s a position of power, and the highest position that can be obtained without being the Fiannen-Ri yourself.”
“Why doesn’t she just become a Fiannen-Ri?”
“There’s two ways to become a Fiannen-Ri. You can start your own company, but you need backers and a good enough reputation to draw quality men and women to fight for you. What usually happens is that someone who wants to retire pre-arranges for one of his lieutenants to ‘reinvent’ the company. The new Fiannen-Ri writes up new contracts, a new company registry; it’s done often enough that it’s fairly standard procedure. Most companies have actually been together for centuries, despite the transiency shown on the registry. But even if I were to retire, I would hand the company to Marcus, and Moreg doesn’t have the enough connections to strike out on her own.”
“What’s her other option?”
“To fight an existing Fiannen-Ri to the death in hand to hand combat, and she doesn’t have the skill.”
“So, her best bet is to become your mate. How does she plan to do that?”
“The company’s inner circle usually chooses whom to promote into leadership slots, but that is not the only way to achieve status. You can challenge anyone to a contest of skills; if you win, you win the leadership slot.”
“And is this little tiff also to the death?” Sarcasm was one of Jack’s best assets.
“It can be, but it’s usually to first blood.”
“So why hasn’t Moreg challenged Brigitte for her lieutenancy?” asked Sam.
“She did, but the challengee gets to choose the weapons and skills contested. Brigitte chose the weapons to be pencils and calculators – and the challenge to build a bridge that could withstand a tank crossing it. Moreg failed dismally. And it’s obvious that if she tries to challenge again…”
“Brigitte will use the same tactics.”
“Clever,” added Teal’c. “Brigitte knew she could not defeat Moreg in the physical arena, so chose the ground most advantageous to her.”
“But that’s not a tactic she can use in a judged combat – she’ll have to fight. And depending on the severity of the crime and the judge, Moreg may be able to garuntee that it’s to the death.”
you can see by the names that this little idear started out as a stargate sg-1 idea, but now i'm wondering if it might work as an original short-story fic. or even a multi-book series of originals. the theory for connor's culture is:
1) they're all shapechangers - right now i'm thinking all leopards.
2) they've got a technology level currently roughly equivalent to ours
3) their base culture is a mix of Celtica and standard werewolf type stuff
i was basically thinking it would be interesting to have a culture that was heavily mercenary and to explore how geeks get along in that society. not well, i'd think. i thought the best way to do that would be to portray a situation where there's tension in one of the mercenary households due to bias and succession issues, and how introducing people unfamiliar with the culture would upset the status quo and force a confrontation.
i wanted to tell the story from the newcomer's point of view, because i want the whole shapechanging issue to be one i work up to - it's important because it influences the undercurrents of the story, but it's not something that's either immediately obvious or revealed.
anyway, if it reads a little clunky, it's because of the changing canvas thing. and i'm still not sure - should i leave it as sg-1, or try to work it into an original short story?
-bs, pondering
The Time Before
“Can I speak to you?” Connor, the dark-haired mercenary leader, was standing in a shadowy corner. No, not just a corner – there was a door hidden so well there that even a close look wouldn’t find it. Jack only saw it by the light that came through the edges where Connor was holding it open. O’Niell glanced around the empty corridor, then motioned Sam, Daniel, and Teal’c to follow Connor into the quiet room beyond.
“All right, what’s going on?”
“Do you understand what happened last night?”
“Brigitte has taken responsibility for our safety, obviously,” said Daniel, “but no, I didn’t catch everything.”
“Not just your safety. Honor, reputation, these are qualities we value in this culture above all else. By claiming you as her guests, Brigitte must stand as your champion against all comers.”
“So, if someone insults us, she has to fight to regain our honor?” Sam asked.
“If you take offense, yes, or she takes offense on your behalf. That’s more likely.” Connor paused. “But, Brigitte is not a warrior.”
“I thought you said all the fighters were Brahmin?”
“They are. But the Brahmin caste includes not only warriors, but the Druids – priest and judges who hold our knowledge, and render judgement on whether our laws have been broken. Brigitte is a priest, although by rights and inclination, she should have been a judge.”
“So if she gets into a fight, she’s not going to have a chance.” Jack sighed. “So we just won’t take offense at anything.”
“It’s not that simple. If someone accuses you of something, and the evidence is circumstantial, either party may ask for a trial by arms. She will be honor-bound to offer herself as champion. By refusing her offer, you are basically saying you do not believe her to have any honor.”
“You mean it’s like saying we think she had a hand in setting us up?”
“Yes.”
“So we may not be able to do anything to prevent her from getting killed over something we think is incredibly stupid.”
“And Moreg doesn’t like her,” Sam said. “Does she not like Brigitte enough to frame us for murder?”
“It’s not a matter of like or dislike – Moreg is a professional. I wouldn’t have hired her otherwise.”
“But…?” Jack asked.
“Not so long ago, people like Brigitte were often… discarded.”
“Discarded? You mean killed. Why, for being smart?”
“They were seen to have a weakness of spirit. We are a warrior society, and value strength and skill in battle; weakness of spirit is not to be permitted. It’s only been recently – in the past 100 years or so – that the practice has been banned. But our… socialization… still celebrates a warrior’s skills over the academic. Brigitte is not a warrior, and Moreg believes she has not earned lieutenant status since it was not obtained in battle, or the warrior’s ring.”
“Moreg is trying to jockey for lieutenancy?”
Connor shook his head. “For more than that. The Fiannen-Ri chooses his mates from among his lieutenants. The mates comprise the inner circle of advisors the Fiannen-Ri has; they choose who to contract with, who to hire and fire, and who to promote. It’s a position of power, and the highest position that can be obtained without being the Fiannen-Ri yourself.”
“Why doesn’t she just become a Fiannen-Ri?”
“There’s two ways to become a Fiannen-Ri. You can start your own company, but you need backers and a good enough reputation to draw quality men and women to fight for you. What usually happens is that someone who wants to retire pre-arranges for one of his lieutenants to ‘reinvent’ the company. The new Fiannen-Ri writes up new contracts, a new company registry; it’s done often enough that it’s fairly standard procedure. Most companies have actually been together for centuries, despite the transiency shown on the registry. But even if I were to retire, I would hand the company to Marcus, and Moreg doesn’t have the enough connections to strike out on her own.”
“What’s her other option?”
“To fight an existing Fiannen-Ri to the death in hand to hand combat, and she doesn’t have the skill.”
“So, her best bet is to become your mate. How does she plan to do that?”
“The company’s inner circle usually chooses whom to promote into leadership slots, but that is not the only way to achieve status. You can challenge anyone to a contest of skills; if you win, you win the leadership slot.”
“And is this little tiff also to the death?” Sarcasm was one of Jack’s best assets.
“It can be, but it’s usually to first blood.”
“So why hasn’t Moreg challenged Brigitte for her lieutenancy?” asked Sam.
“She did, but the challengee gets to choose the weapons and skills contested. Brigitte chose the weapons to be pencils and calculators – and the challenge to build a bridge that could withstand a tank crossing it. Moreg failed dismally. And it’s obvious that if she tries to challenge again…”
“Brigitte will use the same tactics.”
“Clever,” added Teal’c. “Brigitte knew she could not defeat Moreg in the physical arena, so chose the ground most advantageous to her.”
“But that’s not a tactic she can use in a judged combat – she’ll have to fight. And depending on the severity of the crime and the judge, Moreg may be able to garuntee that it’s to the death.”
you can see by the names that this little idear started out as a stargate sg-1 idea, but now i'm wondering if it might work as an original short-story fic. or even a multi-book series of originals. the theory for connor's culture is:
1) they're all shapechangers - right now i'm thinking all leopards.
2) they've got a technology level currently roughly equivalent to ours
3) their base culture is a mix of Celtica and standard werewolf type stuff
i was basically thinking it would be interesting to have a culture that was heavily mercenary and to explore how geeks get along in that society. not well, i'd think. i thought the best way to do that would be to portray a situation where there's tension in one of the mercenary households due to bias and succession issues, and how introducing people unfamiliar with the culture would upset the status quo and force a confrontation.
i wanted to tell the story from the newcomer's point of view, because i want the whole shapechanging issue to be one i work up to - it's important because it influences the undercurrents of the story, but it's not something that's either immediately obvious or revealed.
anyway, if it reads a little clunky, it's because of the changing canvas thing. and i'm still not sure - should i leave it as sg-1, or try to work it into an original short story?
-bs, pondering
