unreal

ok, i have ginmar on my friend's list, and usually, when i read her, i'm a feminist. she makes a lot of good points about society, and she clarifies a lot of my own thinking. BUT. she crossed the line, here. and this post is why, if anything does, i might dropkick her off my flist.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/ginmar/513870.html

the guy referred to here is lj user = mzmadmike, who has posted in *his* journal about this stuff.

this is my reply to gin's post:

> all right. i usually don't comment on anyone's
> journal, cause, well - mostly cause i hate lj in
> general. but i have to say this. ginmar, you're being
> a twit. *you* are the one who told *him* he was lying
> about his rape. *you* are the one who told *him* his
> rape didn't matter. *you* are the one who told *him*,
> without knowing thing one about him, that he couldn't
> possibly understand anything about rape and the
> experiences victims have.
>
> i read all his posts. he did not blame victims. i read
> your posts in reply - and *you* blamed *him* for
> enabling rapists.
>
> and the end result is *you* are the one enforcing the
> code of silence that hurts *all* rape victims. not
> just female vics, not just kids. *ALL VICTIMS*.
>
> the last sexual abuse stats i heard wrt kids was 1 in
> 3 girls, 1 in 5 guys, by the time they were 18. does
> *20%* of the male population sound like it's *rare*
> for men to be victims of sexual abuse?
>
> let's multiply this out. the last census i heard had
> us at 270 million people. divide by half, for men only
> = 135 million. multiply by .20 for percentage of abuse
> vics by the time they're 18 = *27 million* male
> victims. let's go further. 135 * .33 = 45 million
> female vics. so... what's the percentage of total
> victims of sexual abuse who are male? (27/(45+27))*100
> = *37.5%*.
>
> i understand you're pissed and outraged at a society
> that encourages rape, and discourages reporting. i
> understand that you hate being treated like a second
> class citizen. BUT. you are *not* helping your cause.
> what you *are* doing, is coming off like a complete,
> cold-ass bitch with the world's biggest chip on her
> shoulder. stop REACTING, and *START THINKING*.
>
> because when *you*, GINMAR, actually take the time out
> to *THINK* instead of *REACT*, you, GINMAR, are
> actually pretty damn smart and make pretty damn good
> points. but you're shooting yourself in the gut, here
> and now, and it's time for you to sit up and take
> notice.
>
> ::irritated and disgusted::
> -boogieshoes


now, mmike is a good friend of mine, but even if he weren't, i'd feel completely justified coming down like a ton of bricks on ginmar. her attitudes are hurting *all rape victims*, *all* victims of sexual abuse, by encouraging a code of silence on just one sector. who was it who said 'if even one man is oppressed, none of us is free'?

wanting to stop and reduce rapes is a laudable goal, and one i share. but without fact-based discussion, we won't get anywhere.

my friend buddykat pointed out that ginmar seems to think rape is about sex, instead of power. it's exactly that sort of misunderstanding of motivations that encourage our society to protect rapists and accuse and ridicule victims to the point of silence. oddly enough, i had a conversation roughly a year or more ago with John Ringo where he said the same thing, that rape was about sex, not power. John's a great story-teller, but one of the more conservative male republicans i've met in my day. makes me wonder - just who is enabling who, here?

-bs